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Archive · Selected matters · 2019–2026

The record is sealed.

Client names are withheld. Locations are approximate. Outcomes are verified. Entities are named only where legally permitted, or where they insisted.

Selected from 12,847 closed matters Client identities under seal Audited 2025 No active files shown

DisclosureCases are composites. If you recognise your matter, it is because we handled it. If you recognise yourself, call your solicitor.

07 matters displayed

Case 0091-B · 2024 Containment
Corporate
Closed

The Seventh Floor

A Mayfair asset manager reported unusual staff attrition and a conference room that kept scheduling meetings with no attendees. The room was a minor portal. It had opinions.

Client
Asset manager, Mayfair (withheld)
Classification
Class II portal / minor infernal presence
Matter
Unauthorised portal, staff attrition, unexplained agendas
Duration
11 days
Outcome — Portal sealed. Two staplers and one intern recovered. The staplers were never the same.
Case 0447-V · 2022 Litigation
Estate
Settled

The Inheritance

A Cotswolds family inherited a house, a title and a fourteenth-century curse. We proved the curse was a forgery. The opposing solicitor was not amused; he was, however, dead.

Client
Family estate, Gloucestershire (withheld)
Classification
Fraudulent instrument / ancestral claim
Matter
Disputed will, three alleged hauntings, one forged curse
Duration
14 months
Outcome — Curse voided. Estate recovered. Costs awarded in two currencies.
Case 0666-Z · 2019 Negotiation
Revenant
Closed

The Sitting Tenant

A Brooklyn landlord attempted to evict a non-paying tenant who had been deceased since 1974. The lease, unfortunately, was valid.

Client
Landlord, Brooklyn (withheld)
Classification
Revenant tenancy / afterlife grievance
Matter
Rent arrears, noise complaints, occupancy status
Duration
6 weeks
Outcome — Lease amended. Back rent waived. Quiet hours after 3 a.m. by mutual agreement.
Case 1188-A · 2021 Deliverance
Heritage
Resolved

The Choir That Would Not Stop

A parish council in Prague reported a 400-year-old hymn performed nightly by thirteen voices. There was no choir. There was, according to the verger, one voice consistently off-key.

Client
Parish council, Prague
Classification
Residual devotion / Class III manifestation
Matter
Nightly hymn, heritage site, noise abatement
Duration
9 weeks
Outcome — Choir disbanded. One encore permitted annually at Christmas. The off-key voice was not identified.
Case 0313-L · 2023 Employment
Compliance
Settled

The Compliance Werewolf

A Zurich private bank required a senior associate to attend client dinners during lunar transition. The associate requested remote work. The bank requested a risk assessment. We provided both.

Client
Private bank, Zurich (withheld)
Classification
Employment / accommodation / silver safety
Matter
Lunar leave, client-facing duties, one incident in the lift
Duration
4 months
Outcome — Policy adopted. Settlement includes no full moons during Q4. The lift was refurbished.
Case 0999-X · 2025 Regulatory
Necromancy
Closed

The Resurrection Audit

A Lisbon notary office revived the wrong client through an administrative error. The correct client remained deceased. The regulator was notified before the family was, which remains a sore point.

Client
Notary office, Lisbon
Classification
Necromantic malpractice / regulatory
Matter
Wrongful revival, filing error, family liaison
Duration
72 hours
Outcome — Client returned within 72 hours. Filing corrected. One espresso billed to the estate.
Case 0777-C · 2026 Contract
Venture
Closed

The Angel Investor

A Series B founder received a term sheet with a board seat, information rights and a claim on the founder’s soul on exit. The valuation was, admittedly, attractive.

Client
Founder, London (withheld)
Classification
Infernal contract / venture financing
Matter
Soul lien, board control, exit provisions
Duration
5 weeks
Outcome — Soul clause struck. Board seat limited to two observers. Option pool unaffected.

From the closed ledger

Additional matters · Disposition recorded · No further detail will be provided

FileMatterClassificationDisposition
0001-AThe First ClientRetainerPayment still pending.
0222-HThe Vault, Threadneedle StreetContainmentSealed. Do not discuss in the building.
0505-SThe Family PortraitAppraisalEyes follow viewer. Valuation adjusted.
0888-MThe Monday MeetingTemporalRescheduled.
1010-RThe Second ResurrectionRegulatoryUndone. Apologies.
1234-SThe Sleeping PartnerLitigationAwake. Still a partner.
1444-BThe Unquiet FloorContainmentNow a library.
1666-FThe Great FireLegacyNot our fault. Invoice outstanding.

Client names are withheld under the Nine Planes Accord. Case numbers are internal. Dates refer to closure, not commencement. Several matters remain open in jurisdictions that do not recognise closure. If you believe your matter appears here in error, contact compliance. If it appears here correctly, you already have our number.

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